Why I hate Duke

Duke is a team that the BBN loves to hate. Most of that stems from that heartbreaking March night in 1992. I can remember sitting in my grandparent's living room as a child. I can remember the rollercoaster of emotions. I went from anger (Laettner stepping on Aminu Timberlake's chest) to heartbreak (Mashburn fouling out) to elation when Sean Woods took his man off the dribble and hit the runner of the glass. Ultimately, we know too well that the ultimate heartbreak came a few seconds later. I'll not go into detail about that but we know.

First and foremost let me say that I do hate Duke. However, unlike many UK fans, I don't view them as a rival. In fact, I think calling them a rival is ludicrous. We've not played them since Jay Williams smoked us in 2001 by scoring 894 points. As bad as I hate to admit it, I think that many UK fans envy Duke. This envy isn't about them being a better program or winning. Hell, we are the best program and win plenty enough but it does lead me into the first reason as to why I hate Duke.


I hate Duke because they are everywhere. You turn on ESPN and there is Coach K or one of his random dorky white kids being praised for being some humanitarian, Nobel prize winner, helping an old lady across the street, or something of the sort. The media has their head so far stuck up Duke's ass that it nauseates me. I'd rather stand in on a surgery than hear that slurp fest...and I have quite the weak stomach when it comes to that kind of thing.


Another thing is their players. I'm sure these guys are good kids but I'll be damned if they don't irk me. I hate to be shallow and base stuff on appearance but I can't help it. Kyle Singler looks like a mixture of a hideously ugly woman and a praying mantis. The Plumlee twins look like...hell I don't  know what they look like but it's not good. Brian Kelly is quite possibly the goofiest and ugly man I've laid my eyes on. His big brown poop tooth doesn't help matters. Their whole team is ugly and it's led by their rat looking coach.


Basically it's a simple hatred but there it is in a nutshell. I hate Duke because their players are goofy looking douche bags and the media is to Bree Olsen as Duke is to Charlie Sheen. Oh yeah, how can I forget their ugly ass cheerleaders, ridiculously stupid students, floor slapping, Mike Patrick, officials being terrified of Coach K, and an arena that belongs somewhere in the 13th region.